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cinema cinema:tamil FRS

FRS: Singam 3

So you all know what an FRS is right? right? OK

s3_3

-5 : For every fellow who said Singam 3 is very loud, boss he is shouting in the poster for Godsake, also you do some 300 poster/teaser breakdown videos, like you didn’t expect it or what?

Singam is supposed to be loud, that is the point, what did u expect Silence?

Adhu Scorsese film.

#HariDa

<Adra! Adra! Adra! Adra!> read it in caps

+151.3: Hari, perhaps the only big budget director currently operating with a stamp of his own, commercial filmmakers mostly focus on the returns, but Hari is perhaps the only one who focuses on increasing excitement film after film, testimony to this is the title credits of a lion literally jumping over roman numerals I and II, only to leap over a gigantic III and roaring at those assembled.

I mean what’s not to like.

+1.5 Tonne: Suriya, yow what a performance; we were reading somewhere that for an audience to feel what actor is doing on screen, the actor must really feel what is really happening around him, Suriya takes method acting and combines it with monstrous rage.

As DCP Duraisingam Singam, Suriya becomes his own animal (see even we write such loaded phrases) , throughout the movie the camera and Suriya try and compete with Hari’s screenplay.  Faaaaar better than when he is restricting himself in other films(hi to Pasanga 2 and such), maybe a component of Singam-rage is against his other directors?

Only time will tell.

So fast is that what is happening on screen that if you allow it in the Olympics, it would win a medal or something (we write such phrases as well )

Also watch out for the 1.5 tonne reference

-712: Shruti Haasan,

or in other words, because we killed Hansika in the previous film (same character, different occupation)

+45: Home Minister Vijaykumar: for being the longest serving Home Minister and having more powers than American President so that he can send Duraisingam to any corner of the universe and take over cases, i think Singam 4 will be about how some Russians steal cement from Thoothukudi for the international space station and only Duraisingam can bring it back.

+007: Yes, Duraisingam is our James Bond, like really he is, well he doesn’t sleep around and has family and all and drinks only green tea, but really he is. Bond too is driven by rage and patriotism (which again came into much question, when the character turned gray), but even he wont be able to match Duraisingam in commitment

Open thread:  Also what is with this liking towards gray characters? why a film with gray protagonist always treated with some deference, here in Singam good cop vs bad guys, why should the film be anything else?

-95.7: Soori, not even telling how bad this comedy track is

+6: Even in item song, Duraisingam will be watching for clues, rest of audience is watching Neetu Chandra

-6: Item song

+120: 2nd Biggest mystery in Indian Cinema answered in SIngam 3, no not telling what it is

+61: For a villain who has memorized latitude and longitude of every place, I have not seen anything like this before and another villain whose cheeks vibrate like a suppressed mobile phone (yes)

+10: When Government has any doubts in Indian Penal Code, they can ask Duraisingam, a hero who knows his law and a villain who loves geography, this is really the most academic movie I have seen since Pallikoodam.

-42: In Singam 2, Duraisingam climbed up and down a full mountain in 2 minutes, nothing in Singam 3 has been able to match that, but almost running down a plane using a police jeep is almost there

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-214: Drones: there are only three types of shots in the film and shot-breakdown is as follows

Singam rage shot: focuses on him mouth dialogues, total rage in closeup (11%)

360 Singam shot: camera going all over the world to cover action sequences without skipping a beat (4%)

Drone Shot(85%): Every other shot in this movie is a drone shot, sometimes in the second half we began to think whether we are sitting in movie theatre or watching the world from a chartered flight. DEI!

Movie could have been called Singam III: Attack of the Drones

-20: Ethical Hacking monologue, also first Tamil movie to feature ethical hacker Ankit Fadia look-alike

-4: Ankit Fadia

-52: All songs whenever, wherever, I mean Harris Jayraj would have taken a holiday to some Bodhidharmar cave for peace and self reflection because, this movie is totally NOT for him, even Adra! Adra! Adra! doesnt make it.

#MissingYouDSP, but yeah Duraisingam shouting would have drowned the BGM anyways.

+77: Something , something , something happens, before you reach halfway point in popcorn box, movie is actually over.

No really it is like that.

Hari never disappoints, he gives you 1200 for your 120 rs!

It is not like you are going to remember the scenes.

+44: Singam films offer a kind of high that most films can only aspire about, coming out of the theatre, people were seen walking in upright swagger and showing symptoms of wanting to hit someone right in the middle of the head.

Yes even some FRS writers reported this feeling.

This however can be calmed by listening to some eight hours of Gangubhai hangal type music, only then.

Just beware if you are a person of dubious character, Duraisingam might just be a phone call away. We loved it, we really did.

All numbers incidental and arbitrary.

Subam

THE FRS TEAM

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
cinema cinema:tamil

IRANDAM ULAGAM: LOVE YOU TO DEATH AND BEYOND

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR AND INTRODUCING FRS™

Hello all,

In keeping with the need to provide something new to the reader even in these dark times of incessant bad films we have decided to drop our initial simple verbosity to more graphic, easily understandable numerical schoolboy type ratings system for our movies.

Readers should realise that this is not because of the laziness on the part of our writers, and one more rating system to the existing pool will not make any difference.

We have realised that movie reviewing is a complex process and should not be streamlined akin to a car on an assembly line, but we also feel we have wasted enough words on films that do not even deserve an exclamation. Hence the Faulty Rating System (FRS™), yes this rating is inherently flawed and we hope to achieve some balance as we plod along, there is no science behind this and I’m sure you the reader will have no difficulty in understanding them.

We openly agree that these ratings are not fair, free or fearless and we pray the reader has this in mind all the time.

The Editor, the Lowly Laureate.

Fortunately or unfortunately the first film to be tried under FRS is Irandam Ulagam.

And so it begins.

Irandam-Ulagam-Movie-Poster

+1: for anyone making any movie without Santhanam in it. (Fundamental Rule)

+1: for anyone attempting anything other than a comedy featuring Santhanam in combination with some other mildly irritating comic actor. (Extension of fundamental rule)

-3: for trying to show alien land by colouring rocks in purple and orange

-2: white painted face characters that look like they have landed after rehearsing for Dracula: Dead and loving it, the stage musical

-6.5: absolute loss of lip sync, excess point deducted for making audience go through banal dialogue.

– 3: wall of violins to show stirring scenes via classical music BGM, but nothing moves in the movie.

-2: Other world people are dumb, have no concept of love; yet repeatedly try to rape and plunder.

+2: Other world people are actually happy folk whose only worry would have been the non-blooming of color color flowers, do not know why the director is misleading us here. <Points given as grace from audience understanding>

-1: graphics lion whose face is more human than all the human characters in the film

+1: too little irritating characters

-1: too little characters, irritating nevertheless

-2 : orange colour water fall used to indicate other world

-3 : dragons flying over every city but not doing anything else, why are they flying anyway?

-4 : guy drinking in bar, singing badly about love loss, love failure (extra points because this devastating trope has been extended badly to aliens also, yes other world has bar with color color bottles)

-5: Arya

-10: Arya in double role

-10: unwanted show of heroine midriff (generally) especially while sword training in winter when everyone in the other world is more clothed in fur than a hundred wolves

-5: the usual trope that however independent the girl is, she becomes a girl only when “vekkam” comes (vekkam comes has a nice ring to it, anyone use it). Heroine equally fierce in battle as hero, but finally subdues herself???

+12: for the foreigners who speak better tamil than the leads

+5: one unexpected happening

-7: caring heroine who surrounds herself with children and do happy-wappy things just so hero can see and fall in love trope

-8: sudden appearance of numerous villainous characters twenty minutes before movie ends

+8: the appearance of hapless villains is laughter evoking.

-3: curiously shaped swords and increased waiting time of thugs to react, so that hero can finish all dialogs

-1: using swearwords on screen is liberating thing (esp this director, see earlier films)

-2: kick in the groin (supposed to evoke laughter, done multiple times)

-7: Unwanted songs, whenever and wherever placed

-1: knowledgeable young oracle called “Amma” who knows everything, just won’t say anything till the end of the movie trope

-290: true love is undying and all that. (Oh my god!)

+15 to all those who feel the movie is an utter and complete waste of time, but who will be sniped by parties who will put arguments such as , “if only this had been a Hollywood director you won’t question anything”

For which there is only one counter-argument, if it is a good movie you will know it when you see it and a good movie can be made anywhere. And it is clearly possible to make a passable-good movie with the above mentioned tropes.

All numbers are arbitrary and instantaneous.

 

 

Review Board, the Lowly Laureate